It's all about your cries and kisses

Blogcloud

2006-05-25T16:14:00.000Z

This is a cool geeky thing I got off a blog I read which makes me think sometimes. You can do your own here. I guess my musings can be reduced down to this, which is nice.

not politically correct but accurate...

2006-05-24T14:46:00.000Z

Not wishing to be drawn into a debate about the pros and cons of boycotting, just made me laugh (and feel a bit sad at the same time).

No time to post properly at the moment. Suffice it to say that my dissertations were handed in on time and one day i may actually have the guts to read through them. Since then I've slept, relaxed, done the Great Escape (more on the later), had lovely times with fathers Steven and Martin, and avoided revision like the proverbial. Exam is Sat afternoon so ought to get a move on...then again...

xxx

New Job!

2006-05-09T20:24:00.000Z

I have a new job!!! (the clue was in the title)

As of June I will be the new Policy Assistant - Global Climate Change at Tearfund!

I'll be working in Teddington in the strangest looking office you ever did see.

The whole application thing has felt totally right and I had the greatest sense of peace during my interview. I guess finding out my next step 3 weeks before I finish my degree is very much in keeping with God's style of guidance in my life so far. I have wanted to work for Tearfund for years and I'm really excited about starting something new - Thanks be to God!

Thank you for your prayers and encouragement. Please keep them up as I enter dissertation mania proper from now until next Monday.

Love to you all,

xxxxxx

random numbers thing

2006-05-03T23:06:00.000Z

As a random email from someone I haven't seen in several years informed me, in less than an hour the time and date will read 01:02:03 04:05:06! (the exclamation mark won't be there, I added that bit for effect). This will not happen again in my lifetime (Unless I live to be the oldest woman in the world that is). To be honest, I thought it was pretty insignificant but found myself thinking about it on the bus today so it earns a post...So there!

err...

Am off to Matt's tomorrow to prep for an interview on Friday morning. Please pray or do whatever it is you do when you wanna help someone with something. I feel pretty chilled about it at the moment. I figure que sera sera (in a God sort of way).

Also, the task ahead of me over the next 11 days is beginning to look impossible so ditto the above request.

L/xxxx

Dammit Janet...I Love You!

2006-05-02T11:45:00.000Z

Brad Majors Hey, Janet
Janet Weiss Yes, Brad?
Brad Majors I've got something to say
Janet Weiss Uh huh?
Brad Majors I really love the...skillful way you beat the other girls to the bride's bouquet
Janet Weiss Oh...oh, Brad
Brad Majors The river was deep but I swam it
Chorus Janet
Brad Majors The future is ours, so let's plan it
Chorus Janet
Brad Majors So please don't tell me to can it
Chorus Janet
Brad Majors I've one thing to say, and that's Dammit Janet, I love you. The road was long but I ran it
Chorus Janet
Brad Majors There's a fire in my heart and you fan it
Chorus Janet
Brad Majors If there's one fool for you then I am it
Chorus Janet
Brad Majors I've one thing to say, and that's Dammit Janet, I love you. Here's a ring to prove that I'm no joker. There's three ways that love can grow that's good, bad, or mediocre. Oh J-A-N-E-T, I love you so...

Happy now Ms Aitken?

L/xxx

Harsh words, loudly spoken

2006-04-28T20:50:00.000Z

Am sitting in my room ostensibly reading about the International Criminal Court but my concentration is faltering somewhat. Someone is having a huge argument in my street. I think it's the couple who live opposite. I hope they stop soon. Kinda want to go and see if they are ok but feel powerless. It's got me thinking...

Why do we shout?
The obvious answer I suppoe is to make ourselves heard. We shout over the music in clubs, roar with the crowd at football matches, shout for joy over something we want to draw attention to, but why do we shout at each other in arguments?

Those of you who know me will know I'm not a very shouty person. I can be loud but I rarely raise my voice in an argument. I suppose when we do it's because we want to be heard. Our communication has broken down so much that our words aren't enough. In arguments we become so overwhelmed by our own emotions that we cease to be able to read what the other person is saying with their words, actions, face, whatever. We become repetitive too, repeating the same words over and over again. If we see (or hear) others behaving like this it speaks so clearly of pain and isolation, but do we recognise that in ourselves when we are like that? When someone shouts at us we feel attacked and become defensive, what would it take for us to be able to respond with compassion and grace at that moment? To recognise that our aggression often hints at fragility and brokenness.

For those of us that shout at God what is it that we really want? Do we want to be proved right in our misery and isolation or do we long for the embrace that knocks down our defenses, holds us close and allows us to trust through all the hurt and uncertainty we so often nurture?

I guess in posting this I hope that I can learn from it. I hope that in my relationships with people I am thick-skinned enough not to balk at harsh words or raised voices but soft-hearted enough to recognise that there is always a part of us that just doesn't know what else to do and is scared, frustrated, alone.

My prayer this evening is that we would all be a little better at meeting aggression with compassion, fear with faith and isolation with companionship.

Procrastinating for sanity's sake

2006-04-24T17:25:00.000Z

Will refrain from whinging about how much work I still have to do, how my brain simply won't co-operate, etc. etc. It's bound to get much worse before it gets better. But I will share a brief list of things that are keeping me sane:

The lovely Matthew. He really is marvellous. What else can I say? Arriving on my doorstep on Sat night with hedge trimmer, strawberries and red wine makes me a very happy girl.
Laura Grossart. Her daily emails and MSN msges are a source of joy and humour. Last night I laughed out loud at my monitor. Apparently Lou is trying to work out which disney song contain the lyrics 'marching on, la la la, buggers'. I love my retarded friends.
www.pimpmysnack.com Wasted about an hour on this website today. Check out Jaffzilla and the burberry curly wurly. Then (and only then) look at the Creme Egg Disaster. I laughed so much I actually cried and I thought my sides were going to split. Anyone wandering past beneath my window must've thought I was having a breakdown.
My lovely housemates. Late night wine sessions where we pretend this evil thing isn't looming over our heads 24/7 is the order of the day.
The hope that one day soon horny pidgeons will stop their illicit rendezvousing on my windowsill.

Here's to the little things that make the world go round!

Quote

2006-04-17T10:38:00.000Z

I post this simply by way of making sure I don't lose it. It is pretty key to both my dissertations but I'm not sure how yet. Human Rights movements are doing outstanding work but there is a certain dichotomy within them which needs addressing:

'[F]rom the point of view of many Third World citizens, human rights campaigns often have a bizarre quality. For many of them it looks something like this: They are hungry and diseased passengers on a leaky, overcrowded boat that is about to perish. The captain of the boat is often harsh, sometimes fairly and sometimes not. On the river bank stands a group of affluent, well-fed and well-intentioned onlookers. As soon as those onlookers witness a passenger being flogged or imprisoned or even deprived of his right to speak, they board the ship to intervene, protecting the passengers from the captain. But those passengers remain hungry and diseased. As soon as they try to swim to the banks into the arms of thier benefactors, they are firmly returned to the boat, their primary sufferings unabated'.

Mahbubani, Kishore (1998) Can Asians Think?, Singapore: Times Books Int'l, p.52, cited in Tan, Kok-Chor (2004) Justice Without Borders: Cosmopolitanism, Nationalism and Patriotism, Cambridge: Cmbridge University Press, p.5

Do we lull ourselves into a false sense of our own compassion by dismissing all that remains undone as too complicated, risky or costly? Or can say that we truly are seeking to 'act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with [our] God'? (Micah 6:8)

What might this actually mean for the way that we live, love, speak, spend and vote?

Well, am I a rabbit or a whale?

2006-04-12T15:01:00.000Z

Look, I really am trying at this whole writing thing but I just glanced at Ruth's blog and couldn't help myself...

You Were a Rabbit

You are fast thinking and tend to live by your wits.Getting over fears is important to you, as is strengthening intuition.

What Animal Were You In a Past Life?

But then I did this one too...

Your Animal Personality

Your Power Animal: Eagle
Animal You Were in a Past Life: Whale
You are active, a challenger, and optimistic.Hard-working, you are always working towards a set goal.

The Animal Personality Test

Incidentally, what is a power animal?

HELP ME!!!

2006-04-12T10:56:00.000Z

I am going to fail my degree. I have some kind of mental block which means that I just can't write anything. I love what I do it's just a shame I suck at it.

Am watching a man wandering down my road in a yellow jacket picking up bits of rubbish with a grabby thing. I think this is my new vocation. No stress, plenty of time to learn the iPod way, fresh air, job satisfaction...

Garden of Eden, Gigzlopi and (something else beginning with G)

2006-03-21T15:25:00.000Z

My laptop has rebelled and I've sent it to the laptop hospital (which I believe is in Macclesfield - who knew?). If she is not healed on her return I will be issuing her an ASBO. Spitting sparks and emitting smoke is no way to behave now that dissertations are upon me.

Ruthie's birthday has been the weeklong shindig we have traditionally come to expect. The theme was most discernible as an opportunity for Ruth to be seen in her underwear :) Ricky Horror Picture Show was great fun on Thursday and the Adam and Eve party was one of the strangest things I've ever witnessed chez Washington Street. Will post photos when my laptop comes home, suffice it to say that my costume as the Garden of Eden was hilarious but Matt stole the limelight as the befoiled Sir Pent (no one got this). Cleverest tenuous link to the theme must've been Jake who came as Peter (a son of Adam) from the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe/Cupboard/Bureau (don't ask).

We dragged the assorted staying over-type people to Annunciation on Sunday which is particularly surreal after half a barrell of cider. Ruthus and I were on Tea and Coffee duty. We used too much milk and let the children have access to too many of the nicer biscuits. Will need a crash course in 'making things go further' in manner of wartime rationing exercise before we attempt it again. btw, I recognise that this is extremely important but I made almost 50 cups of tea out of 8 teabags and after a certain point it just isn't tea anymore!!!

Last nights Panta and I went to see Nizlopi - they were bloody marvellous! Homeless man in McDonald's tried to mug me twice beforehand but he failed so the evening did not suffer. Nizlopi are just so talented and creative and enthusiastic (in a sort of ADHD way) and they got their gold disc last night for 'the JCB song' which was really lovely. There was a man mountain in front of us which was a bit if a shame - Laura and I have decided that we are going to build a venue with a sloping ceiling so that tall people must stand further back and not make the rest of us feel like Lillyputians (sp?).

Finally, can anyone tell me whether or not experiencing a shock can cause people to temporarily lose control of their speech faculty? It was in an episode of Monk a while back and I wondered if it could happen to any of us or whether you had to have OCD to qualify.

xxx

p.s. I was almost on BBC South East on Friday (Sussex protests about Chemistry, I was in the background looking bemused with Ned), Sharon was nearly on BBC South East yesterday (something about Romsey maternity clinic I think) - I can almost smell the fame!

UFO U2

2006-03-01T18:24:00.000Z

Just HAD to flag this up!

Killing time before Ashing Mass (or whatever it's called) I checked out Ship of Fools and was browsing through the fruitcake zone and I found this - apart from it being a highly amusing 'ufological' (who knew that was a word?) explanation of how Jesus was an alien , it is also the funniest and undoubtedly greatest rendition of 'In the Name of Love' I have ever heard.

Please, please check it out. I can't stop laughing..

a little something

2006-03-01T12:12:00.000Z

Feeling a little fragile today. There is a distinct possibility that I over-indulged on the wine last night :)

Wanted to post today but my mind is a little foggy so forgive the randomness.

Reading an article on Amartya Sen by Nussbaum (which is essentially concerned with a feminist critique on the capability theory of social justice - which I'm sure you are terribly interested in...) I came across this little phrase;

'the beauty of a cherry tree in blossom cannot be possessed by a diamond'

It's not the sort of thing you expect in the middle of an academic article is it? I just thought I'd share it with you. Made me think...

Xxx

Us and Them

2006-02-24T10:53:00.000Z

Hoylus got me thinking with his post on 'bouncy faith and the church's otherness' this morning.

Who or what is church?
I embrace the idea of church being a community of believers which is broad enough to encompass all of my friends who find themselves in some way seeking after God. The restrictions imposed if I limit church to only those who attend my local church, or to card-carrying, bible-toting Christians (with a big 'C') simply don't work for me. In fact, my life at the moment suggests that such distinctions are not really helpful at all. Or rather dividing the world into 'Christians' and 'non-Christians' seems only to serve as an exclusionary device. Why has this distinction become so popular in the churched world?

If I'm reading my bible right then my duty of care to you holds whatever position you are in with relation to God (which, by the way, I cannot know or judge and neither can you). In my life, which is very removed from many of yours I am sure, being identified as a Christian mostly means that people think a.) that I believe in God, b.) that I am judgmental and think myself better than them, c.) that I think they are going to hell, and d.) that I want to convert them above all else and so any gesture of friendship or love should be treated with great suspicion.

This is a tragedy and we must repent of it (regardless of how great or small we consider our part in it). I don't mean that we become perpetual apologisers for the countless atrocities and hypocrisies committed in the name of Christ. Neither do I suggest that we don sackcloth and ashes and disappear into our (already existent) enclaves. Rather I think that the church - which means us - which means me - needs to get down off any pedestal we may have unknowingly erected for ourselves and start loving people for who they are as divinely created children of God not as 'the lost', 'non-believers' or any other soul-destroying label that gets applied to people who aren't yet familiar with 'our way of doing things'.

My prayer for the church, globally, locally, interconnectedly and personally is that we lay down the terrible burden of 'our way of doing things' in favour of 'His way of doing things'. This will lead us on paths we had not anticipated, it will shock us and cause us pain but if we truly want to follow Jesus this is His way.

How can I break down the wall that the label of 'Christian' erects before me? Gently, graciously, piece by piece, with a little help from my friends.

Fernando

2006-02-20T22:56:00.000Z

We have a new fish! He is called Fernando and I chose him because he was attacking the other fish in the pet shop tank so I thought he might stand a chance in Washington Street (despite being approximately 20% of the size of It). He is the final installment in my Christmas gifts from Matt and looks like a smaller version of Mine but with a black eye and a mariachi style 'tache.

He's not dead yet!!!

(although bizarrely the plant in the tank has literally fallen to pieces since his arrival. oh dear).

Hooray!!!

The love that dare not speak its name has spoken (and it say 'YES'!)

2006-02-20T22:43:00.000Z

I must begin by retracting my negative comments about Valentine's - despite a slow start and the copious baking which ensued as a means to get over said start it got a lot, LOT better - I am now an official girlfriend! I've given it a week to sink in before mentioning anything to the...erm... two of you who read this but it is real and true. It has so far made very little difference to mine and Matt's already two year old quasi-relationship but it is perhaps all the more pleasing for this.

I still feel like I'm 12 if I say 'my boyfriend' in conversation though so I promise not to go overboard. Those of you who have lived through the last 2 years will be relieved to hear that the obssessing period is safely past.

Life being the way it is we probably won't actually see each other in the next month but who cares? For this one moment it is all about the label!

Valentine's Day

2006-02-14T12:37:00.000Z

Boo Hiss!

(that is all I have to say on the matter)

Work Avoidance Technique 217

2006-02-07T21:36:00.000Z

Help me! So consumed am I by my own procrastination that I joined a dating website just so I could avail myself of some psychometric testing!

Apparently I'm quite nice. In a sort of comforting but not particularly interesting way.

The questions were stupid. That's my excuse anyway. And no, I won't be foraying into the heady world of internet dating. I'm more than happy with what I've got thanks.

Yesterday, I employed Work Avoidance technique 139 - texting various people's home numbers so that Tom Baker would read out stupid messages to them. Hearing him say 'I, Tom Baker, would like to dance with you my little beast of Brighton. laugh with the joy of donuts' really does brighten people's day - you should try it (or suggest how I might cultivate more of a life).

Roll on Wednesday...

ET - a (brief) life story

2006-02-02T11:26:00.000Z

ET came to live with us.
He got bullied a bit.
He outlived Mine.
He moved to London.
He got sick.
He stayed sick.
He came back to Brighton.
He nearly got eaten.
He got his own room.
He got a bit better.
He died.

27 Days

2006-01-19T23:05:00.000Z

Yet again I am abysmal in the regular blogging stakes. forgive me? The last 27 days have been full of... fullness really! Highlights include (but are not limited to)

Wonderful little snowy retreat to Quirbajou with Matt. Marred slightly by me losing the house keys on the 2nd evening, having to borrow a ladder in broken french so Matt could climb through a 3rd floor window, and spending 2 days trying to organise a locksmith (with limited success).
Rushing back to my beloved Brighton to write 3000 words on Corporate Social Responsibility. I ranted. It was fun.
Catching up on uni life in general esp Saz, Ruthie, Tom, Leo, Olivia, Nono, Dunc and Sophies B and P
Becca G's lovely house warming soiree
Chatting to my dad for hours on Sunday night in the pub
Getting excited then confused then excited then tired then inspired by my 2 courses and dissertation topics (Human Rights and Contemporary Political Thought)
And, of course, caring for the sick fish. I'm sure that when I have meditated on the whole fish experience sufficiently I shall be enlightened and have learnt many life lessons but right now it feels like retribution for...(I haven't worked out what yet but it's definitely serious)

Anway, there is much love in my heart even if there's much discontent in my soul at the moment. Think there may be a few 'soul dump' posts appearing soon.

Lots of love

10 days

2005-12-23T14:18:00.000Z

I am rubbish at formatting. sorry.

This may be way too small for you to appreciate but the bottom photo is Quirbajou, where I shall be in 10 days time (hopefully). My little enclave of joy sits, as most of you know, 7km up a mountain in the pyrennees. The flights are booked, Matt's waiting to hear confirmation that he can have time off work and I hope to return a better person :)

I really wanted to show you how great this place is but given that it has a population of 34, no shops and only 1 house has internet access there is a paucity of images to wow you with. The top photo is the best google has to offer. It is of interest to me for 2 reasons:

1. In what way does a photograph of one corner of a roof represent a town?

2. I have only ever been there in summer and April. It snowed in April. what on earth is it going to be like in January? There is no central heating, no insulation and the road up there makes anything Alton Towers has to offer look tame.

There is therefore a significant chance that I won't return at all. At least not without frostbite. Honestly, the lengths I will go to to avoid writing essays!

Happy Fishmas?

2005-12-23T13:50:00.000Z

Apologies for my lack of blogging of late, I ...erm... appeared to have developed a social life at precisely the moment I can least afford it. I have dutifully shopped in something resembling a festive manner and my bundles of joy lie wrapped and waiting under our Christmas tree (which, incidentally is slightly larger than the one in Trafalgar square).

The fish have survived the journey to London but only just. ET has developed swim bladder disorder! He has now been floating near the surface on his side for a week. I went to the pet shop and after a long and complicated conversation with yet another random fish guy (who are these people? where do they get their knowledge from?) purchased some medicinal tonic. We are some way into the treatment now and he seems happy enough. I, on the other hand, am doing all I can to stave off a fish-induced nervous breakdown.

Seriously, fish cannot communicate, show emotion, be touched, breathe air!!!! And yet I find myself hand-feeding this poor thing every morning and wielding a pipette in his general direction in the hope that he can regain the ability to swim. I mean, come on! ALL fish have to do is swim!!! If he can't do this anymore I'm not even sure he still qualifies as a fish!

I'm off to go and get changed now because I paused to feed ET and have soaked my sleeve in pond ming.

Happy fishmas? I think not.

A sad day in the happy house of horn

2005-12-05T17:17:00.000Z

'Mine' has died. His brief but happy (if slightly aggressive) life came to an end in the early hours of this morning. It seems that the 'hospital' tank we had set up for him was really a 'hospice one'. It is not thought that he suffered unduly.

He developed constipation after something of a binge food session (don't laugh) and this caused a swim bladder dysfunction. This basically means he bloated up and just got stuck floating upside down on the top of the tank. Apparently it doesn't hurt but it looks pretty gross. I tried to feed him peas but he was somewhat uninterested. As you will no doubt be aware, peas are an excellent fish laxative but it was to no avail.

ET and It (Tom's beautiful little Christmas present fish) seem to be coping with the grief well. They swim around playfully as if they have been recently liberated from a tyrant but I know that inside they are deeply sad.

Mine - He was big, greedy, wierd-looking and aggressive but he was Mine and I loved him.

R.I.P. Mine

n.d. - 5/12/2005

He came, He swam, He went

Fish family counselling

2005-11-16T14:20:00.000Z

'ET' is depressed. ET is Ruth's fish. As yet they remain officially un-named but hers looks like ET and I tend to call mine 'Mine!!!'

Anyway, ET spends approximately 93.8% of his day in the front right-hand corner of the aqarium (yes, yes, it's esentially just a tank with a bulb and a filter but go with it...). Mine on the other hand, swims around happily exploring most of the time. He occassionally tries to poke ET into life but to little avail.

The corner ET seems fixated with is where my mini discoball is. Wondered if perhaps ET had goth pretensions and was therefore sulking at the disco intrusion but when I moved it he resolutely followed - disco must be his style.

Tom has suggested family counselling for the house of horn and the fish (stupid boy!). Ruth actually rang the pet shop this morning (she's memorised the number from the zillion times she rang them impatiently asking 'have the fiiiishies arrived yet?') asking if ET's behaviour is normal. They think she's mental (they are not alone). BUT.... They gave her a FREEPHONE FISH HELPLINE NUMBER!!!!!!! Who runs such things?

Whatever you are doing today thank your lucky stars you aren't picking up the phone to answer fish-related questions from my obsessive housemate!

Smells, bells and surprises

2005-11-14T11:08:00.000Z

Yesterday morning my house-mate Ruth and I went to the church opposite our house. It was confusing, crazy, beautiful, contradictory and I loved it!

Father Steve, the part-time priest, works 1/2 the week at The Church of the Annunciation, Hanover and 1/2 the week at the Tate Modern!
Parts of the mass were sung ('terrorism' is not an easy word to prayerfully sing, just too many syllables I think).
There was so much incense I could barely see or breathe by the end!
After the service the first woman I met announced it was a very welcoming church. This was after she had been visibly pissed off at the woman who dropped a cup of water on her foot. She then told us that she was a lesbian who had felt rejected by the Catholic Church but was at home in this high anglican enclave. We met several of the most random people you could ever hope to meet there and I am fascinated by the dichotomy this church represents:

It is a beautiful, old church in the heart of our community which looks permanently closed so few know it's there
The service is extremely hard to follow if you aren't used to using a hymnal and don't know the liturgy and yet sees itself as representing the church in Britain

But most of all,

The church is very formal, priests, choristers, incense, candles, latin bits, goblets etc. and the congregation were reprimanded for chatting during the eucharist. However, at the front, amongst all these robed, bowing priests stood a guy in combats and a bright green top who openly yawned during the boring bits, dropped his candlestick, stared at his own reflection in the offering plate and seemed to be dancing to an imaginary tune in his head.

Amidst all the formality and grandeur of this place, this misfit stood as a reminder of how we really are: confused, distracted, excited, messy, ill-disciplined children who slouch before our God with fear, bewilderment and awe in our hearts. The incongruousness of it all made me smile, God sees us for who we really are, not how we think we are presenting ourselves.

Dancing publicly to the imaginary tune in your head is probably one of the highest forms of worship there is.

Peace be with you :)

A little mouse with blogs on...

2005-11-12T14:39:00.000Z

My task for this weekend is to discover in 2500 words whether anything 'lies beyond the 'Washington Consensus' '. I will not do it justice (I never do) but it will get done. I am however, faced with a myriad of distractions. These include, but are not limited to:

Our 2 beautiful new Brighton fish (photos coming soon) which are fascinating beyond description. There's just something about living creatures that fills me with wonder. Mine is utterly demented and ugly and beautiful, what was God thinking?
Discovering the blogs of some more friends. Ruthie will tell you it's cyber voyeurism, others will suggest it's simply the easiest way to stay in touch with those who live too damn far away but I think there's something else....

As I read the humble offering of my close (and not so close) friends I am struck by the intimacy of what they share. Sometimes funny, sometimes banal, sometimes downright heart-wrenching. I am reminded of the plastic bag moment in American Beauty, one man's glimpse of grace is another man's chaff blown in the wind. In blogging do we give of ourselves more freely? Do we need to cultivate deeper relationships with people if we find ourselves being more open on the internet than in our livingrooms? Or is blogging a means to deepening relationships, the litmus test for deciding whether or not to 'share your truth'?

Love y'all

p.s. Just fed the fish for the first time and mine's a greedy beast!

my alter ego needs...

2005-11-09T12:30:00.000Z

realised that if Laura needs things, Woo is bound to too. This is even better!

Woo needs some choppers
Woo needs this melodramatic improvement on history
Woo needs a date for a special party
Woo needs to clean the specimens
Woo needs to smell and taste the fungi
Woo needs that emotional core before the excess pays off
Woo needs a strong script to work with
Woo needs to understand (and, more importantly, be amused by) your pidgin blabbings

finally,

Woosle needs to join the circus!

This is the best game ever! Dissertation planning is officially out of the window!

kisses (sans cries)

xxxxx

Laura needs...

2005-11-09T11:58:00.000Z

Copying Josephinus I googled 'Laura needs' and apparently;

Laura needs your support
Laura needs a son to carry on his legacy (who's?)
Laura needs to be painted (red preferrably)
Laura needs a room mate (but I've already got Brutus!)
Laura needs plastic surgery (harsh)
Laura needs advice on her combi boiler
Laura needs you now
Laura needs to get a contract
Laura needs to obtain all manner of transport (from a nudist site? the mind boggles...)
Laura needs to take better care of her own two kids (wonder if either of them are the son I need)
Laura needs a hug
Laura needs someone to look after her
Laura needs a boob job (even more harsh)
Laura needs a National Identity Card

I appear to be very needy indeed! I am clearly an insecure, affection-starved, unattractive, irresponsible mother of 2 who can't handle plumbing, get anywhere, identify myself or secure a contract!

Oh well! Back to reading about Ugandan NGOs I guess....

Incomplete

2005-10-28T17:15:00.000Z

I am incomplete... and I'm meant to be!

Just before I fell asleep in the early hours of this morning I read a phenomenal thing:

We really aren't meant to live our lives in isolation. God is awesome but He made us to have companions. We are meant to revel in him AND each other. To only avail ourselves of one is to miss out on the gloriousness of 'being'. Nothing can compare to drawing close to our Father but recognising his love in others brings that about all the more.

To all of you who, like me, spend so much time vascillating between wanting a better relationship with God and wanting better relationships with others, or (perhaps more honestly) wanting God's love and the love of other people, there is relief:

'love one another as I have loved you'

The glory and grace of God is far too big to be contained in a private relationship with him. Enjoy Him in the wonder of Him and ALSO in the wonder of other people.

Lovejoy

2005-10-23T00:03:00.000Z

Lovejoy insisted on appearing twice - can only assume it's because he is so keen to share the love!

The Leather jacket wearing lothario is the newest icon in the 'Children of the Horn' house. The 'loveable rogue' (that's what it actually says on the back of the Series 2 DVD! ) has taken over our lives. Andy's even driven 200 miles to be here and see him!

Tonight he seduced an auctioneer, solved an international architectural crime ring, saved an old lady's assets (!) and gave away his reward in order to pay somebody's bail - does it get any better than that?

Postcard

2005-09-29T10:25:00.000Z

I have returned from my lovely holiday in France and am in the throws of packing up my entire life (for the millionth time) and moving to my new house in Brighton. I may not post for a while since we haven't got internet access there yet. Here's the postcard I might have written had we been living back in the day when people still used pen and ink rather than digit and keyboard:
Jumieges Abbey - can I please get married here one day?

Hi,
Hope you are well. Weather's lovely though minus a million at night. How do you centrally heat a tent? Had a nice time in Rouen, saw Monet's house a decided that lemon yellow dining rooms are the way forward and Been to 4 chateaux in the Loire. Many mussels and much wine consumed. Have accidentally ordered 13 spoons and told the receptionist we were going to bed in the chathedral rather than to see the cathedral lights but nevermind! Discovered that Joan of Arc had massive feet and cockerels are of the devil (4am is NOT morning)!
Tra la la, not much space left etc. etc.
Au Revoir
L/xxxxx

Freedom to be compassionate

2005-09-06T17:06:00.000Z

Again, my own words desert me in the face of God's grace...

'The gentleness of Jesus with sinners flowed from His ability to read their hearts. Behind people's grumpiest poses and most puzzling defense mechanisms, behind their arrogance and airs, behind their silence, sneers, and causes, Jesus saw little children who hadn't been loved enough and who ceased growing because someone had ceased believing in them. His extraordinary sensitivity caused Jesus to speak of the faithful as children no matter how tall, rich, clever, and successful they might be.'

(Brennan Manning, The Ragamiffin Gospel)

Grace abounds..

2005-08-26T08:23:00.000Z

'Grace abounds and walks around the edges of our everyday existence'

I read this on the way to work this morning and it made me think of a recent post by a fruit I know. I couldn't add a comment to that post so I've stuck it on mine instead. My prayer for both of us is that we would find the magnificent in the mundane.

'The gospel of grace calls us to sing of the everyday mystery of intimacy with God instead of always seeking for miracles or visions. It calls us to sing of the spiritual roots of such commonplace experiences as falling in love, telling the truth, raising a child, teching a class, forgiving each other after we have hurt each other, standing together in the bad weather of life, of surprise and sexuality, and the radience of existence'.

(Brennan, Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel)

Movin' on back

2005-08-10T08:14:00.000Z

It's official: I no longer live in Clyde Road. Moved the last of my things out on Monday night after much deliberating as to whether or not everything would fit in - Dad's are great aren't they? I could never pack with such style.

Wondered if I would feel nostalgic or sad but I don't think I do. In fact, pulling the mounds of blu tack off the wall just reminded me of the first weekend I had spent there before I'd moved in; the chosen few who were a part of that will remember why it was so special.

I have done and learnt and experienced so many new things in that house but I'm taking those with me. The house was just the staging area.

Bring on Washington Street!

My newest hero

2005-08-08T11:57:00.000Z

In the words of today's Guardian Sport:

'Super Fred. He takes wickets. He bludgeons runs and one suspects he could find Osama and uncover an alternative to fossil fuels, given the chance'.

Who'd've thought that a game involving a strip of dirt, sticks and a ball, played by men in ridiculous clothes over 5 days which frequently uses terminology such as 'silly mid-on' could be so exciting?

The cross on my back

2005-08-05T10:30:00.000Z

Failure kills me. I am so often trapped in this guilt cycle where I let myself down, feel guilty about it, get worked up about it, get annoyed for getting worked up about it, feel I've let myself down.....etc. etc. ad nauseum.

This makes it even harder to let go, forgive myself and hear the words of the Father who loves me. The One who says, with startling clarity and breathtaking simplicity;

'I love you.'

On the way to work this morning I read in the experience of someone else these words, spoken by Jesus,

'I expect more failure from you than you expect from yourself'

And still 'I love you', 'I love you', 'I love you', 'I love you'.

Sundays like sunshine, Mondays like clockwork?

2005-07-19T19:40:00.000Z

I had a lovely time at middle-class fest last night (Claygate, jazz, beer, summer evening Dahhling!). Not sure why everyone over the age of 40 dances with the hands clenched into fists, their elbows stuck to their sides and motions like a choo-choo train whist kicking their legs out eratically behind them but it was VERY funny to watch (and imitate as the evening went on).

All of a sudden however, Monday has rolled around and I pootle into work and suddenly realise that it's 9.00AM and I should be in work mode. I'm not. I'm not quite ready. I want another half an hour. Does this make me a slacker? Am I a bad employee because my body clock doesn't chime to the workaday bell? Why are we so regimented about these things? What does the fact that we have regulated our lives into units of time say about how we view the world?

Or am I just sulky because I can still hear the dulcit tones of my bed longing me back for just a few more minutes...

beginning

2005-07-14T16:26:00.000Z

how does this work?